"You can't even give them away these days": Re-homing Old Pianos

Upright piano. Free. Belonged to my grandmother but we don't have room for it anymore. Just needs a tuning.

Sound familiar?

Seller: Four hundred bucks for the junk removal people to take it to the Sechelt dump? Yikes. I'll just give it away. Then I don't have to spend a dime.

Buyer: Four hundred bucks (or thereabouts) to move a piano? What if I get it here and call Andrea to come tune it and she tells me it's not even tuneable?

Cracked soundboard, detached bridge, loose pins, water damage to hammers, strings that will all break if you try to bring them up to pitch ... just a few of the problems you can find in an old piano.

So a "free" piano still costs money, and those looking to acquire a piano on the Sunshine Coast are wary of sinking money into something that will prove to be nothing more than a gigantic plant stand. (Please note: It is never a good idea to place plants on top of your piano!)

That is the story here in on the Sunshine Coast, anyway. An old Heintzman upright will be purchased for over a thousand bucks in Whitehorse, for example, where they still have to be dragged over the Chilkoot Trail. Okay, not really, but still. It's a long way from the land of piano plenty.

People often call me when they are looking to acquire a piano. They want to know if I know the piano, if it has any issues and if I think it's worth the cost of moving. Sometimes it's true that I've tuned the piano, but I just can't remember anything about it.

Recently, one person contacted me with a piano to give away. He'd had the piano listed for a while, for free, and still no one was interested. This is where the "You can't even give them away" adage comes from. But he needed to move it. Time was running out.

Before recommending the piano to anyone, I'd certainly need to check it out, but driving from Langdale to Lund looking at pianos for free isn't a great way to earn a living. I delayed getting back to him, trying to think about how I could offer this service in a way that made sense--who is the customer?

What makes the most sense is to offer an inspection service.

For a minimum service call of $60, I can inspect a piano that you are looking to sell or give away. You will receive a checklist with an assessment of the condition of the soundboard, action parts, pin torque etc. If some of these parts require repair for the piano to function, this will be noted as well. One of two things can happen next:

1) Piano is in sound condition. You can list it for sale for at least $60 in order to recuperate the cost of inspection and a piano buyer will confidently make that purchase, knowing exactly what they are getting before spending a small fortune on moving costs. (Remember, it's not the cost of the piano that deters people, but the cost of moving the piano.)

2) The piano has problems. It will be expensive to repair and the money on repairs would be better spent on a newer piano. You may decide to take the piano to the dump. So that $60 will be a sunk cost, right? Not really. You will have peace of mind: You'll know not only that Grandma's piano truly was at the end of its life and it is okay to say goodbye, but that you didn't just unload a lemon on some poor family whose kids are just starting piano lessons and who will now have to quit because the family has just spent all their money on moving the piano and then moving it again to the dump and sorry, little Timmy and Sally, you're just going to have to take up the spoons.

I returned this person's call a couple of days later, but it was too late. He'd taken it to the dump. It just so happened that I had been at the dump earlier that day. "Oh, that was your piano I saw there."

Good decision? Bad decision? We'll never know. Difficult to try it out when it looks like this ...

I regretted not getting back to him sooner to look at that piano.

There is a program on CBC I keep hearing about, explaining that it is the end of the upright--or the end of the piano! While it is true that a piano is no longer ubiquitous in middle-class homes, it is still one of the most sophisticated, versatile and beautiful instruments ever made. The piano will always be here.

But the old Canadian uprights are in their twilight years. You can't give them away. Dime a dozen. Ending up at the dump, yeah yeah. But if you've got one in decent condition, look after it with an annual tuning and maintenance. (If you're a fan of the antiquing shows, you may consider that your old Mason & Risch will be a rarity not too many years from now...I hear even cigarette garbage has reached collectible status.)

Oh, and as for "no room" for a piano ... Here is a picture of my living room:

Would it be nice to have more than a two-seat sofa to sit on? Sure. Does it stress me out when my partner invites four people over for hot-pot? Of course! Does even the cat have more upholstered seating options than I do? Um, yes.

What was my point again? Oh yeah. There's always room for a piano.